god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
