They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
