Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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