Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
