In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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