You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
