the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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