There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
