how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
