I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
