Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
