Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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