I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
