I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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