you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
