He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
