can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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