are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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