so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
