just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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