Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
