I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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