i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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