He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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