I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
