he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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