Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
one might say we're banned from that church
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
