Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
