I cockslap morals
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
