dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
