Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
