Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
