i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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