i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
