Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
