"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
