how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
