I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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