Pants 0. Shit 1.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
