When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
