Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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