i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
