Is it because I queefed?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
