my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
