just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
