I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
