I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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