I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
