So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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