turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
