i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Panties = found
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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