In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
